YourHolidaySweater → The Officially Unofficial Pas/Cal Fan Site

Lyrics

Oh Honey, We’re Ridiculous

What Happened To The Sands

What happened to the Sands
What happened to the men who stay up so late
Whistling “Sweet Soleil” ‘til it rose up

What happened to the Sands Hotel
What happened to the women who would scream and yell
Pleading “Mama, needs some new clothes!”

Oh, I walked where you once walked
And I never thought I would

There is concrete and dirt
Where it once stood
And where it once stood, you stood

There is concrete and dirt
Where it once stood
And where you once stood, I stand…

OH, such coma causing thought
That caught me off guard for one lost hour

OH, so I shook my head and I grabbed my bag
La-di-da-di-di-di-da

So I ran into a dancer
La-di-da-da-da

She was all glued-on long lashes
And Kandinsky coloured splashes

“Is it the golden, glowing, glimmer…”
La-di-da-da-da

”...that first brought you here?”

Poor Maude

Poor Maude she’s a 115
This year with her hand in her mouth
Its no celebration
Her drooling mug is on every station
Oh God! Poor Maude

Her eyes shut she’s dead tired of looking
At the trees and the stars in the sky
And the children laughing
“A hundred years on their still doing the same damn things!”

Hey Maude who put that hideous dress on you
“The same fool who called the Channel 7 Action News!”
And they had the nerve to question you
“You lived so long, what has it cost you Maude
What have you got to say for yourself”

“Come now we got the camera and lights on you
Speak up, so that the people at home
hear what they want
And in 3, 2, 1 you’re on!

“Dear God, please deliver a swift blow
At least let me catch a bad cold
And I’ll be gone in a fortnight
Could the cameraman please turn off his spotlight
Thank you, good night.”

Come love let’s run in front of
The ever-rushing oncoming motors
And just dance

‘Cause you’ve got good hands
And mine ain’t bad
And our legs are just as good
As they were when they were sold

So come on let’s climb on top of
The Pontchartrain or the Penobscot
And hopscotch off their highest height!

The Handbag Memoirs

Let’s spill it out on your brother’s bed
Some crumpled notes you said you never should have read
OH YEAH!
A pocketbook with a broken mirror
“Y’know, a few of these things I haven’t seen in years”

What’s that beneath those old receipts
Looks like a photo of you before you knew me
And who’s that old postcard from
It’s from a place I never ever even heard of

Ba bop ba bah ba-ba bah
Ba bop ba bah ba ba-ba-ba

The clothes you wore and your hair was shorn
Camouflage from a dusty, dusty war
A handbag I think I’ve seen before
If you spill it all out I know we could fit more

More, more
More Handbag Memoirs
More, more, more
The Handbag Memoirs

All the notes that you wrote without me in mind
It’s alright
And all the places that you’ve seen before me
I guess it’s all right
Some things you carry on your shoulder far too long

What Do The American Girls Have On Jennifer JoJo?

Jennifer Jo Jo
What do you know about this world?
And why would you think it’s any better than
Your Tiananmen Square?

Oh, Jo Jo don’t you know
The same things happen here
Where people are rude and cruel and they all love to stare at you

Oh, Jo Jo you should know
The same things will appear
So whether you’re pushed or shoved or truly loved
It’s all the same
It’s all the same
And an 18 hour plane ride
Isn’t long enough to cure what’s wrong with
Jennifer Jo Jo
What do the American girls have on ya’
Beyond their wide open eyes
And their straight-line locks of gold
You cut your last and your first name changed
To something pronounceable and denounceably plain
Was it from all the hang-ups
“Please, ma’am could you speak up. I didn’t catch what you”
Jo Jo you should have known
That there might have been some complications
Oh, ohoh, oh
Most people can barely stand a conversation
Hearing your voice
The sound of your slurry curry voice
Jennifer Jo Jo
Where do you go from here?
To another city or far away country
Five thousand miles away
It’ll be the same
Oh Jo Jo you should know
You can go half way around the globe and you’ll be back home
So go Jo
La la la… La la la…
What do the American girls have on ya…
Oh Jo Jo you should’ve known!

The Handbag Memoirs

The Bronze Beached Boys

Come on let’s go
Let’s not talk about tomorrow
Today
You know who I am
And I love what you wear
Those gilded garments kill my sorrow!
So, come on let’s go
(We’ll) discuss it all tomorrow
But today…
We’re gonna go out
Slap the day in the mouth
Like Bonnie Barker and Clyde Barrow!

Come on let’s go, come on let’s go, c’mon let’s go
We can be leaves pushed by the breeze
Towards the mountains or toward the sea/ Or just out to eat
Please leave your notebooks at home
You can write all about it in the morning
Not today
We should go and catch air
Let the sun dye our hair
Like the bronze beached boys of the summer

Come on let’s go, come on let’s go, c’mon let’s go
We can be leaves pushed by the breeze
Towards the mountains or toward the sea/ Or just out to eat
Come on let’s go, come on let’s go, c’mon let’s…
We can be like bees up in the trees
Fly over mountains and catch the breeze

Or we can sing strange romantic airs
Like those that flow through Aeolian harps
That caught Shelley’s ear like…
Ba ba ba-ba ba ba, ba ba-ba-ba ba ba ba-ba ba ba

I’d Bet My Life That You Bet Your Life

Was it 74
Was it summer or fall
Was it corduroy, linen or wool?
I don’t know
‘cause it felt both warm and cold

Was it the time that you hung out my car
And told the police who you thought that they were
“A bunch of fucking slave drivers”
If I remember your words right

Now, who do you think you are
Sleeping with a swastika
Under your pillow
And an electric guitar by your side

Oh Tony you were no…
Tragedy
You’re just a well worn story I can hear on any given night
On any TV, oh yeah

You were no mystery
You didn’t wanna be a martyr
And I know you are no hero

Every night, as I was told, you’d go and write
Some cryptic lines up and down the spines
Of your favorite books which include strange works
By Burroughs, Leary and Klein

And I was well assured
By someone who is known to never lie
You were a bona fide poet, yeah

And I would bet my life
That you bet your life
And you’ve blown it!

Oh Tony, you were no…
Tragedy
You’re just a well worn story I can read in any magazine
That would print such trash!

I Wanna Take You Out In Your Holiday Sweater

In the morning
I see you with your hair down
Watch as you turn your sonny’s light on
As your honey leaves for work

In the evening 7 after 7
I see you all made up and out the window you are starin’
Right through me
Down to the side street
Around the corner
To the city

La la la la la la la la la la la la la

In the evening 11 after 7
I see you dressed and pressed and past the hedges you are standin’
Come to me around the pine tree
Trough the trellis
Up the front steps

A slight form behind a screen door
Elbow patches on a tweed coat
Sweet perfume promenades around the front porch
Right through me
Sonny’s light beams
You look so pretty
OH, GOOD NIGHT!

Ba ba ba-ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba ba-ba ba ba BA BA!

I wanna take you out
In your holiday sweater
I wanna take you out
In your holiday sweater
I wanna take you out
In your holiday sweater
I wanna take you out
In your holiday sweater

Grown Men Go-Go

16 at the Backstreet
Lipstick boys they never look my way
The wrong set wearing make-up
Sweaty chests wane I’m not fooling anyone
I’m not turning anyone on
Scaffolds and stages
Grown men go-go
All I know is let’s sit down
Old queers with their “OH DEARS!”
Bitch about muscle-shirt flirts
I’m feeling over dressed
Inverted 3rd person
This overheard world I’m giving it all up!

This Ain’t For Everyone

This ain’t for everyone
So be sure to put a warm coat on
And get something for your nose
‘Cause I’m older and I know
I am older so I know
This ain’t for everyone
So feel free to leave whenever you want
But whomever’s here to stay
Stay in your seats and let the others go away
oh la oh la oh la oh
You know I’m just like everyone
I spent years trying to grin and groan
In sync with those who are known to think, yeah
Now I’m old enough to know
I fell apart in a restaurant
I fell apart in a record store
I lost some time in a nine-to-five
I’m not gonna stay in my seat a minute more
So get on your feet and let the others get back to their day
Stand on your soles and sing along with me
oh la oh la oh la oh
oh la oh la oh la oh
oh la oh la oh la oh
oh la oh la oh la oh

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*Read On!*